The True Nature of Support: A Personal Reflection
Support. It’s a word that carries a lot of weight, yet its meaning can be elusive. As a small business owner and entrepreneur navigating the coaching and mental health space, I often find myself pondering what support truly is and whether I’m receiving the support I need.
Support vs. Help
Let’s start by distinguishing between support and help. Help often feels transactional; it’s about solving a problem or completing a task. Support, on the other hand, is more about presence, encouragement, and understanding. It’s the foundation that allows us to stand firm when challenges arise.
A Story of Support
One day, a close friend called me, distraught and anxious. She had started losing her hair, and her stress was palpable through the phone. My immediate reaction was to jump in and fix the problem. I began rattling off solutions: doctors to see, treatments to try, and resources to look into. Mid-sentence, she interrupted me. “I didn’t ask for you to fix this,” she said softly. “I just needed you to listen and hold space for me.”
That moment was eye-opening. My well-intentioned efforts to help had overlooked the support she truly needed—empathetic listening and emotional presence.
Your Tribe: True Support or Superficial Aid?
We often look to our tribe—our friends, family, and professional networks—for support. But what kind of support are they actually offering? Are they providing the encouragement and understanding we need, or are they merely offering help that doesn’t address the core of our struggles?
As a small business owner, I handle my own marketing—a task that is both critical and costly. I try to leverage relationships that could assist me with this. But I often wonder:
- Is the support I’m receiving aligned with my needs?
- Are my supporters truly present, or are they simply checking boxes?
Voicing Your Needs
If you find that the support you’re receiving isn’t what you need, it’s important to voice your needs clearly. This can be challenging, especially when you don’t want to come across as demanding. However, communication is key. Your support system might not know what you need unless you tell them.
When Support Falls Short
There are times when those with the platforms and power to support us choose not to. It’s easy to feel let down or even resentful when this happens. But is it their obligation to support us? Or is it our expectation that needs reevaluation?
I’ve wrestled with these questions daily. When I feel the support I need is lacking, I reflect on the following:
- Am I clear about what I need? Sometimes, I realize I haven’t communicated my needs effectively.
- Am I seeking support from the right people? Not everyone in our corner can provide the support we require, and that’s okay.
Taking Ownership of Your Support
Ultimately, it’s important to take ownership of our support needs. This means:
- Communicating clearly with our support system about what we need.
- Recognizing and appreciating the support we do receive, even if it looks different from what we expected.
- Building a diverse support network that includes people who can offer emotional, professional, and practical support.
A Call to Reflect
I invite you to reflect on your own support systems. Are you receiving the support you need? Are you voicing your needs clearly? And most importantly, are you supporting yourself by acknowledging and seeking out the right kind of support?
Support is a journey, not a destination. Let’s walk this path together, with clarity, honesty, and an open heart.
Quackenbush Coaching LLC 