Simon Sinek once said, “Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge.”
This simple yet profound statement captures what it means to be a true leader. Yet, as I work with executives and teams across industries, I’ve noticed a troubling trend: the higher leaders climb the corporate ladder, the more disconnected they can become from the very people they’re meant to serve.
It’s not always intentional. Leadership pressures—tight deadlines, bottom-line results, and stakeholder expectations—can create a bubble where leaders lose touch with the human side of their roles. But here’s the hard truth: when leaders become tone-deaf to their teams’ emotional and practical needs, they erode trust, stifle innovation, and ultimately hinder their own success.
The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way. By reconnecting with their humanity and prioritizing **civility** and **emotional safety**, leaders can create environments where people feel valued, heard, and empowered to do their best work.
The Problem: Leaders Out of Touch
Let’s face it—leadership can be isolating. The higher you go, the fewer people feel comfortable giving honest feedback. Over time, this can create a dangerous disconnect. Leaders may start to believe their narratives, forgetting what it’s like to be in the trenches.
I’ve seen it happen repeatedly: a CEO sets unrealistic expectations without considering the team’s capacity. A CFO dismisses concerns about burnout because “that’s just how the industry works.” A manager talks over employees in meetings, unintentionally silencing valuable perspectives.
These behaviors might seem small, but they have a cumulative effect. According to a Harvard Business Review study, 58% of employees trust strangers more than their boss. Let that sink in. More than half of employees feel safer with a stranger than with the person who’s supposed to be leading them.
This isn’t just a morale issue—it’s a business issue. When people don’t feel emotionally safe, they’re less likely to speak up, take risks, or bring their whole selves to work. And that’s a loss for everyone.
The Power of Civility and Emotional Safety
So, what does it mean to create emotional safety? It’s about fostering an environment where people feel secure enough to express their thoughts, concerns, and limitations without fear of judgment or retribution.
Civility plays a considerable role here. It’s not just about being polite—it’s about showing genuine respect and care for the people around you. A study by the American Psychological Association found that employees who feel respected are 55% more engaged at work. More than half of your team performs at a higher level simply because they feel valued.
But emotional safety goes deeper. It’s about creating a space where people can say, *“I don’t know,”* *“I need help,”* or *“I made a mistake,”* without fear of repercussions. It’s about recognizing that your team members are human beings with their own struggles, strengths, and limits.
How Leaders Can Reconnect with Their Human Side
If you’re a leader reading this, I want you to know that reconnecting with your humanity isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength. Here are a few ways to start:
1. Practice Active Listening
– When was the last time you truly listened to your team—not to respond, but to understand? Schedule regular one-on-one check-ins and ask open-ended questions like, “What’s on your mind?”or “How can I support you?”
2. Lead with Vulnerability
– Share your challenges and mistakes. When leaders show vulnerability, it humanizes them and permits others to do the same.
3. Acknowledge Limitations
– Instead of pushing your team to “do more with less,” ask, What do you need to succeed? Recognize that everyone has limits; respecting those limits is key to sustainable performance.
4. Model Civility and Respect
– Small acts of kindness—like saying “thank you” or acknowledging someone’s effort—can significantly impact. Remember, civility isn’t just about what you say; it’s about how you make people feel.
5. Create Safe Spaces for Honest Feedback
– Implement tools like anonymous surveys or open-door policies to encourage honest communication. And when you receive feedback, act on it. Nothing builds trust faster than showing your team that their voices matter.
The Ripple Effect of Human-Centered Leadership
When leaders prioritize civility and emotional safety, the ripple effect is profound. Teams feel valued and empowered, trust and collaboration increase and innovation and problem-solving thrive.
But perhaps the most beautiful part is this: when you take care of those in your charge, you don’t just transform your team—you transform yourself. You rediscover the joy of leadership, not as a position of power, but as an opportunity to serve.
So, I’ll leave you with this challenge: Take a moment to reflect on your leadership. Ask yourself:
– Do my team members feel safe, to be honest with me?
– Am I taking care of those in my charge, or am I just focused on being in charge?
If the answer isn’t what you’d hoped, don’t despair. Leadership is a journey, not a destination. And every step you take toward greater civility and emotional safety is a step toward becoming the leader your team deserves.
And hey, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, this might be me… thank you for being self-aware. That’s the first step! Second, I’d love to help you reconnect with your human side and build a workplace where everyone thrives.
Let’s chat!
You can schedule a free 60-minute session with me here:
Quackenbush Coaching LLC 