One of my mentors once said to me: “If I lie for you, I will lie about you and I will lie to you, if I steal for you, I will steal from you”.  He reminded me to think about these things when speaking to people and interacting with them. Pay even more attention when they are those who are close to you.

You might be asking what does this have to do with “showing up?” How does it relate to this series? Well, the kind of people we are sometimes hides associates. Think about how many times you have been in a meeting, facilitated a meeting or attended a conference or gathering of any kind. Whether it is a work function or personal, there are always those “busy bodies” who have something to say about everyone. Yes! They know all the water cooler talk. They always seem to gravitate to you with some new and interesting. The first mistake you make is giving them an audience. Think about it. What are they saying to others about you? Part of who you are and how you show up definitely plays to these peoples less nobler motives. They feel it is ok to waste your time and energy with nonsense.

When you are interacting with your co-workers or acquaintances, it is up to you to teach them how to present. I call these people “fire starters.” If you stop the gossip in its tracks by not giving it the attention it seeks, then it stops with you. It should never be part of your character and we should never be seen as the “manager” or person who gives an ear to whispering, hearsay, or malicious talk. Here are three things that will aid us in honing our interactive skills so that we present our best selves:

1. We teach people how to treat, behave, respect or disrespect us by how we carry ourselves. If you believe you can make a difference, you will. If you take control of your space and what conversations you are exposed to many will think twice before entering your path with anything other than something wholesome or positive. If you correct the conversation of a gossiper, and they react poorly or move away from your circle, allow them to. Keep in mind that all fires need oxygen to survive!
2. Do you want to be the person or leader who governs a kingdom of compliance or the person or leader who shares a kingdom of cooperation and has reverential respect of peers and colleagues? The latter is a more powerful and effective form of leadership that we should all aim for.
3. Practice full engagement, be authentic and honest with yourself and others. By managing your energy, not your time, you will improve your performance and see it reflect in a positive way in your personal life while watching your professional life transform. When you are fully engaged you draw on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy that will enable you to avoid gossip pit falls. As in The Power of Full Engagement; by Jim Loer, You will easily move from the person people avoid to the one they gravitate to for guidance and creative energy. Set your intent, be clear about it and see it through to fruition.

In the coming weeks we will wrap up our three part series with “Nasty People”. How to identify them and how to avoid becoming one of them.

 

How many times have you been in a meeting or an event and that one person comes into the room and sucks the air right out? If you are not familiar with this phenomenon perhaps you are that person?

Many people often wonder why or how they give off “mean” vibes. In fact, they have been doing it so long it has become part of who they are. If you are the person people “politely” walk away from, it is time to take notice, especially if you are a leader in charge! Of course, no one will ever tell you this or dare mention it to you because chances are, you are the one who signs the checks. Yup, I said it the BOSS. The BOSS! The one who managers, supervisors, and associates report to.

This is not always the case. However in my professional opinion, in my 30 years of experience, this is the case at least half the time. This is your year for positive change; own this issue, acknowledge it, and recreate your management strategy. Get to know your team members, create memorable experiences, manage by walking around and tell them you appreciate them and recognize a job well done. It is nice to be able to hear from your boss when it is a good thing they have to say. You know you will hear from them when things go awry.

You do not need to be all warm and fuzzy. However, letting your associates know you have a pulse will gain you the respect and adoration that has been missing from your work-life balance.

You set the tone. You create whether or not your workplace is one of compliance or cooperation. I do not need to use statistics or site studies that basically tell you “it’s nice to be nice” or a happy worker will produce for you. All these things have been tried, tested and proven and they all play into how you show up when you enter a room and interact with the team.

The other side of this is: “The energy you put out is the energy you will get right back.” If you enter the room with a superior attitude and less than interested energy, well you will suck the air out of the room and people will avoid you like the plague. If you go in with an open mind no matter what, if you go into it with a goal of learning something new you did not know before you entered, genuinely… You will be surprised with your results.

In the coming weeks, we will discuss the do’s and dont’s of positive interaction with How Do You Show up parts 2 and 3. Until then remember…for every action there is a reaction. The energy you present or put out is the same energy you will get back.

“Just having satisfied customers is just not good enough anymore”. Spoken like a true hospitality guru.  Ken Blanchard’s book Raving Fans have some excellent training tips and advice for those of us who are serious about service.

I have to admit we all get complacent. We all become disappointed with the way humans act and behave toward us as service professionals. When things are not quite as they should be through no fault of the agent/clerk at the receiving end of the infraction. When we get there we need to dig deep for rejuvenation! We should look for it in the most unlikely places. I had that experience today and I have to say I have become a “Raving Fan” of Elan. It is a furrier company located in the city of Chicago. Here is how the day started, I spent 4 hours calling places to take my fur coat to have it stored, glazed and repaired.

I finally ended up contacting Elan furs and the lovely Anna answered the phone. I asked about the specific service I was looking for, and also pricing then she told me and then I asked about location. Before I could shriek at how far it was she said: “WE CAN PICK IT UP”. Somehow she was able to discern in my voice that I was disappointed with the location. She exceeded my expectation. I was completely not expecting that. She realized there was a need and anticipated it! It was not about price, it was about gaining a loyal customer! It was about knowing that I will tell other people about such a painless positive experience, about making sure I was happy. I have to say I was not just satisfied, I was grateful. Not only did they come to pick up the coat but they came in the time frame that they quoted me. I did not have to stay home the whole day waiting.

Discernment. As hospitality professionals, a huge part of our jobs is in the powers and abilities of discernment. To be able to grasp when things are going wrong and when we can improve on them. This builds companies up and tears them down.  If you are in the service industry, it is your duty to know what the guest needs are even before they do.

Empower: To give power or authority to; to authorize; to enable to permit.

In one word “trust.” Empowerment is sometimes the blessing or curse of any company. Where there is no empowerment, generally there is bad service, and the quality of the product begs positive attention.

Yesterday, I went into one of my favorite produce markets. I’m a frequent shopper at this market, but, after yesterday, I have some reservations about ever returning. Towards the end of my shopping trip, I came across the most amazing cakes: red velvet, German chocolate, strawberry, and pineapple. The store sold these cakes as wholes and as halves. My eyes finally landed on caramel! Yay!! Oddly enough, the bakery had whole caramel cakes, but not halves. So, I asked the lady behind the baker’s counter if I could have the caramel cake in half. She answered right away.

“We don’t have any. You need to buy what’s there.”

I was taken aback. The other cakes were being sold in halves, so what was so special about this one? I explained that my family is quite small and that an entire cake was a bit much (and a waste, we would never finish it all!). I spoke up.

“Is there a way to have half sliced?”

“I don’t think so.” She replied. She didn’t make an attempt to honor my request. She didn’t even care that I was a customer with over $100 dollars worth of groceries in my cart. It obviously didn’t register that I had options and choices of where I could have shopped. She had not one shred of empathy.  This, of course, did not rest well with me. As a professional in the service insudtry, I immediately knew that the issue was not with her–it was with how the store was managed. So, I very nicely asked her if there was anyone else who could help me? She reluctantly told me to wait one moment.

The manager came out, and I asked her the same question. Right away she said, “No problem! to which I replied: ” Well it was a problem a few minutes ago! I asked the manager why the other associate couldn’t do that and she stated,

“She’s not a manager.”

“It’s cake.” I retorted. I had just stood there for 15 minutes begging the other associate for half of a cake and she couldn’t cut it without permission?

I then asked: “How would you feel if I left this entire cart of groceries because you all roughly stole 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back?”

The manager apologized, smiled, and said, “You’re right, it’s cake.” I giggled with her and mentioned that if they trusted and empowered their team just a little, the store would see huge results! Empowerment is good morale booster for the team, and the customers would be pleased, not just content.

How many of us have been in situations where we are working or managing in handcuffs? It is not fun for us or for guests. No one wants to have to wait for a manager. This is what we (hoteliers) have trained and taught travelers, and it is the number one reason why guests will request a manager for the most minute things–things that team members can make decisions on, like late check outs.

A manager’s time needs to be focused on bettering the brand, creating memorable experiences, driving service scores, and revenue, not granting late check outs or extending reservations. While no manager is ever above doing these things, their time can certainly be used doing other things. If we trusted and empowered our team members, we would in turn have happier teams and happier guests. This all starts with the culture of the company. A little trust goes a very long way for morale, and a long way for morale leaves more time for managers and supervisors to work on other things.

Here is a fun fact: The next time you are in a situation where you think you may need a manager…..before you ask for a manager,  understand that many times the person in front of you can probably help with requests that are not too big.

For all of the companies and associations who choose not to empower your teams, good luck looking up to see bottom. You will never get ahead, win awards, or drive service scores by not trusting your teams to make decisions on behalf of the client or guest. If the employees are given the tools they need to recover service when there are fractures it only make the company, the GM and bosses look good.

Have you ever been to a restaurant where they have “sneeze guards”? These nifty devices are in place to protect open food from germs and dirty hands. I for one am grateful they are in place! Subway, Chipotle, Quiznos? Have you ever watched and monitored your behavior or the behavior of people around you when ordering?

I actually never paid this any attention until a friend of mine mentioned it to me. When you step up to order you start to tell the person preparing your food how you would like it,what kind of meat, toppings ect. How many times do you actually look up at the human being preparing your meal? Many of us don’t. We look up when it is time to pay for the food. When we acknowledge the person taking our money. Somehow this person deserves our attention more than the person handling the food? Why is that?

This is the same way in hospitality. We have stopped having authentic conversations with the service agent processing the interaction. Whether we are checking in or out of a hotel, there is an invisible sneeze guard up. This is not true for everyone but for many of us it is. The agent on the other side is insignificant until there is a service challenge or issue then we take notice. We get names and give eye contact. Why is that?

Have we as hoteliers groomed society to treat service people this way? Is the guest going off of the vibes the agent is putting out? How have we gone from a polite, kind people to over indulged, entitled selfish humans?
How do we reverse the “sneeze guard” attitude and bring back positive warm dialog and exchanges?

Guest are not numbers and service professionals are definitely human with human emotions and needs. That old adage is true: “You win more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”. Starting today, make a conscious effort to make eye contact and talk to the person assisting you in the service industry! It will go a long way for you.

Do you ever wonder how we existed before online travel agents? You know all the travel sites that end with .com? What did we do when we wanted to book a hotel room? Who did we call? How did we choose? Was it word of mouth? Brand familiarity? Sales? Deals?

20 years ago I was fortunate enough to work at the front desk of a large brand. They had a loyalty program that started at basic and plateaued with diamond. If you were invited by the president or general manager you were labeled a black level member. Each level had specific perks based on the number of stays accumulated in a calendar year. People were nice. Service was important. The golden rule actually worked both ways.

Guest reached out to travel agents (people) who booked rooms for them with hotels that did not necessarily give a great rate but was known for service and the style said guest was accustomed to. There were corporations who had administrative assistants and travel departments that made arrangements and acquired negotiated rates. Travelers both business and leisure were happy and satisfied. (Nice) Then 911 happened and we entered a hospitality world that demanded that we do MORE, BETTER, WITH LESS.

We welcomed our online channels as they were keeping hotels afloat. Properties went from 20% reservations being booked online to 60% of them being booked online. At some point during all of this, we forgot how to be human to one another. The word hospitality and service have now become bastardized by travelers who are not respectful of the human being on the other side of the desk there to service them. The training programs have become obsolete and the people behind the desk are working jobs and not necessarily interested in a career. How are we to turn the page from this dilemma? How do we bring back the passion on both sides?