What Happened To The Middle?

The other day, I was sitting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the driver in front of me hesitated for just a moment too long. Almost instantly, the driver behind me started blaring their horn.

What happened next left me stunned.

The driver in front got out of their car, walked past mine, and began yelling at the driver behind me. Then the driver who honked got out, escalating the situation in mere seconds.

All I could think was: What happened to the middle?

Why couldn’t the honk simply be taken as a signal—“Oh, the light’s green”—instead of a personal attack? Why did this minor moment spiral into something so unnecessary?

This moment reminded me of how often we skip the middle—the space where balance, empathy, and thoughtful responses live—and jump straight to extremes.

We’ve all done it:

• Misinterpreted a text or email because of our own stress, drafting a defensive reply that escalates tension instead of diffusing it.

• Assumed the worst about someone’s behavior—a colleague who doesn’t greet us, a teammate who offers critical feedback—without pausing to consider their perspective.

The middle is where we pause. It’s where we ask:

• Am I showing up as the leader, mentor, or teammate I want to be?

• Am I responding thoughtfully, or just reacting emotionally?

• Am I assuming the worst, or giving the benefit of the doubt?

As leaders, how we handle these moments matters. If we consistently operate from extremes—reacting impulsively or emotionally—we risk being seen as tone-deaf, prickly, or unapproachable. Over time, our teams may quietly start avoiding us, seeking out others who embody the qualities we’re supposed to lead with empathy, thoughtfulness, and grace.

The middle isn’t just about managing ourselves—it’s about setting an example for others and creating a culture of openness, trust, and understanding.

The next time you’re faced with a challenge—a miscommunication, a tense meeting, or even just a bad day—pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Am I in the middle?

The middle is where balance lives. It’s where we lead with clarity, compassion, and connection. And in today’s fast-moving world, it’s exactly where we need to be.