Here’s What to Do Next

By Jewel Quackenbush | Quackenbush Coaching

You put in the work.

You showed up early, stayed late, and raised your hand when no one else would.

You built relationships, solved problems, and became someone your team could count on.

Then, the opportunity you were waiting for the promotion you deserved opened up.

You gathered your courage, applied, and even received encouragement from leadership.

You interviewed. You dreamed. You dared to hope.

And then… they gave it to someone else.

Someone from outside.

Someone who didn’t know the culture, the people, the heart of the place the way you did.

And worst of all?

No meeting. No explanation. Just silence.

The Gut Punch of Being Passed Over

I know this feeling because I have lived it.

Years ago, while working for a major hotel in Chicago, I set my sights on a leadership role that I had essentially been performing unofficially.

I was qualified. I was connected. I was ready.

But instead of promoting me, they hired someone from the outside someone less qualified and when I pushed for an honest reason, I was told, “I looked too urban.”

Let that sink in.

It wasn’t about talent.

It wasn’t about capability.

It was about politics. And perception.

The gut punch was real.

The heartbreak was real.

And the temptation to shut down, to become bitter, was very, very real.

How Not to Let It Destroy You

In moments like these, we are standing at a crossroads.

We can either let disappointment harden us or let it strengthen us.

I chose to strengthen.

And here’s how you can, too:

Acknowledge the Hurt

Pretending it doesn’t hurt is not strength it’s avoidance.

Journal it, name it, sit with it, and give yourself the grace to grieve the version of your envisioned future.

“You can’t heal what you won’t feel.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Stay True to Your Work Ethic

Don’t let one moment define your career.

You were excellent before this happened. Stay excellent now.

Bitterness is a thief that robs you more than anyone else.

“Don’t become the thing you dislike.” 

Get Curious, Not Furious

Ask questions. Seek feedback, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Sometimes, you’ll get honest answers. Sometimes you won’t.

But the process of asking positions you as a learner not a victim.

Invest in Yourself

Take the class. Earn the certification. Work with a coach.

Not because you weren’t enough you are but because growing on your terms is the ultimate power move.

Remember Why You Started

No one can take away the passion that got you here.

Reconnect with your purpose, your pride, and your own intrinsic value.

“Be the leader you wish you had.” – Simon Sinek

When the Mirror Is Hard to Face: Honest Self-Reflection

As much as external factors can play a role, I also believe we owe it to ourselves to ask some hard but healthy questions:

• Did I truly prepare for the interview? Sometimes, when we’re too comfortable with our internal leaders, we forget to “show up” like professionals. We get casual. We assume it’s a sure thing. But interviews even inside our companies deserve our full respect and preparation.
• Did I take the interview seriously enough? Was I too relaxed? Too colloquial? Did I project the professionalism, strategic thinking, and future-focused mindset the role demands?
• Was I actually ready for the new responsibilities? Excelling in your current role doesn’t automatically mean you are prepared for the challenges of the next level. Promotions aren’t just rewards but assignments of greater complexity, leadership, and accountability.

A Gentle Reminder

None of these reflections are meant to shame you.

They are intended to grow you.

True leadership isn’t about pretending we’re always right.

It’s about being willing to ask, “Where can I stretch next?”

because when we stay curious—about ourselves and the system—we stay powerful.

The “Stay Steady” Exercise

If you’re in the middle of this pain right now, try this:

1. Get a notebook.

2. Write down these four prompts and answer them honestly:

• What am I feeling right now? (Name the emotions: anger, sadness, betrayal.)
• What three things remain true about me, no matter what happened? (Example: “I am loyal. I am talented. I am respected by my peers.”)
• What are two honest questions I can ask myself about my readiness for this opportunity? (Example: “Did I prepare fully for the interview? Was I truly ready for the scope of the new role?”)
• What is one small, positive action I can take this week just for myself? (Example: enroll in a webinar, update your résumé, schedule a networking lunch.)

This list becomes your anchor when the emotions swell.

You are still worthy. You are still capable. You are still in charge of your own journey.

Getting passed over hurts sometimes more than words can explain.

But this is not your ending.

It’s an invitation to deepen your resilience, sharpen your vision, and rise on your own terms.

Keep leading.

Keep stretching your heart.

Keep betting on yourself.

Because you, my friend, are still a rockstar.

And no one can take that from you.

I believe real leadership begins with radical self-honesty and radical hope.

Keep rising. You are not alone.

– Jewel Quackenbush

Chief Vision Officer | Quackenbush Coaching LLC

#CareerGrowth #LeadershipWithHeart #PromotionPassedOver #CareerResilience #GrowthMindset #ExecutiveCoaching #QuackenbushCoaching #KeepStretching #StaySteady #InnerWorkMatters