Do you manage your team with cooperation or through compliance?
What would they say if we asked the people you work with if you are a manager who they would describe as confident and inspirational or dismissive and arrogant? Think about it.
What would they really say?
As Leaders, we often confuse arrogance with confidence, and today, we will learn the subtle difference.
Here is a page from my personal experience:
It was time for my yearly performance review, and I was riding high. My team had made fantastic strides, operating with efficiency and harmony. We ranked in the top five in the company, and the numbers were beautiful. I spent a month preparing for the review with my boss, knowing it wasn’t just about my performance but the performance of the entire area I oversaw. When the review day arrived, I felt confident and highly prepared for the three-day evaluation. I was excited to show off what we had accomplished and looked forward to feedback for improvements.
The bosses arrived, and everything went as planned. We maneuvered through our days smoothly. At the end of the week, I found myself utterly exhausted—not from the work itself, but from the demeanor of my bosses. They came across as bullies, leaving me deflated, defeated, and disheartened. Despite our stellar performance, I felt drained and dismayed.
I took a few days to reflect and then met with my team for a round-robin chat. We needed to meet to discuss the visit. A common theme emerged from our discussion: we had done exceptionally well, but it was never acknowledged. Instead, a few minor issues were pointed out, and we were dragged over the coals for them. There wasn’t a single compliment or “well done” for what we got right. Many questions posed to us had nothing to do with our presentation or what we were asked to prepare for to present. It was as if they had a completely separate agenda. One team member mentioned that the leadership seemed very out of touch, treating the visit more like a checklist than a genuine effort to understand and inspire us.
None of us felt inspired or motivated to go the extra mile. It seemed that no matter what we did, it was never enough. As a leader, I had a choice: I could have gone down that rabbit hole of negativity, but instead, I chose to pull my team up. I restored their hope and provided explanations, turning the situation around.
A few weeks after the review, I followed up with executive Leadership to address the feedback and share the team’s sentiments. I conveyed the importance of recognizing the team’s hard work and achievements and how the lack of positive reinforcement had impacted morale.
This follow-up was crucial in fostering a dialogue and working towards a more supportive and cooperative relationship between the leadership and the team. I was glad I was going into this follow-up meeting with them. After all, I wanted to clarify even how I was thinking or feeling because maybe I missed the mark or had a blind spot of some sort. Much to my disappointment, it was as if I was in a meeting on another planet. They were out of touch, just as my team described them.
This experience led me to reflect deeply on the purpose of leadership. We all need to justify our roles, but when our justification comes across as interrogating, intimidation, finger-pointing, and morale-killing, we must question it.
Confidence is admired, but when does it become arrogance?
What’s the difference?
Arrogance: Arrogant leaders often dominate conversations with “I” statements, constantly reminding the team that they are in charge as if the people who report to them need the reminder. They constantly micromanage and assert their authority, out of touch with their team’s real needs and feelings. This behavior fosters a culture of fear and resentment, leading to disengagement and demotivation.
Confidence: Confident leaders, on the other hand, inspire trust and respect. They use “we” instead of “I,” acknowledging the collective effort behind every success. They delegate responsibilities, encourage innovation, and provide support rather than micromanagement. Their confidence empowers others, creating a positive and collaborative work environment.
The Impact on Trust and Team Atmosphere
Trust is the cornerstone of any successful team. When leaders operate from a place of arrogance and enforce compliance, they undermine trust and create an atmosphere that is not emotionally or mentally safe for their teams. Team members may feel like commodities, their voices unheard, their contributions undervalued. This leads to disengagement, high turnover rates, and general dissatisfaction. Remember, most people do not leave bad jobs…. They leave bad bosses. I’ve seen many companies lose top talent and great people for these behaviors that go unchecked.
Conversely, leaders who promote cooperation build trust and cultivate a positive atmosphere. Their teams feel valued, respected, heard, and motivated to contribute their best. They are not afraid to make a mistake or ask for help. Such environments are characterized by open communication, mutual support, and a shared sense of purpose.
Reflecting on Your Leadership Style
If you recognize yourself as the leader who instills fear rather than inspiration, it’s time to reflect. Ask yourself:
1. Do my team members feel energized or deflated after our meetings?
2. Am I giving my managers the autonomy to lead effectively?
4. Do I prioritize what I want over the reality of the situation?
5. Am I seeing the team as people or objects?
If the answers to these questions highlight a reliance on compliance rather than cooperation, it’s crucial to reevaluate your approach.
Moving Towards Cooperative Leadership
1. Empower Your Team: Delegate responsibilities and trust your team to handle them. Provide guidance and support, but allow them the autonomy to innovate and excel. When team members feel trusted and empowered, they are likelier to take the initiative and perform at their best.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly: Foster an environment where feedback flows freely. Encourage dialogue, listen actively, and value every team member’s input. Creating a safe space for open communication builds a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
3. Lead with Empathy: Show genuine concern for the well-being of your team. Understand their challenges, celebrate their successes, and support their growth. Leading with empathy not only strengthens your relationship with your team but also creates a positive and supportive work environment.
As Simon Sinek wisely said, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”
The shift from compliance to cooperation is not just a change in management style; it’s a transformation in leadership philosophy. By embracing cooperative leadership, you can create a thriving, motivated, and high-performing team that is invested in the collective success of your organization.
Ask yourself: Do I lead and manage with an air of compliance or a spirit of cooperation?
Quackenbush Coaching LLC 