Yesterday, I awoke to the delightful aroma of coconut chocolate coffee and almond pastries. The source of this sensory delight was none other than two of my absolute favorite places. It was the morning of my 50th birthday, and I couldn’t help but pause and reflect on this incredible milestone.

Half a century—a significant journey, and I had made it.

As I sipped my coffee and savored those pastries, emotions swirled within me: pride, gratitude, and a touch of nostalgia filled my heart. Just then, a heartfelt note from my husband caught my eye.

It simply read, “Happy 50th Birthday, my love!” This will be a weekend filled with your favorite things!

Those words resonated deep within my soul, reminding me of the unwavering love and support that had been a constant throughout my life.

My husband’s promise was clear: This weekend would be all about my favorite things. It was a gesture that tugged at my heartstrings, a testament to the beautiful journey we had shared and the exciting adventures that lay ahead. With each passing year, I felt more confident in my path, and the future held the promise of even greater joys and achievements.

But there was another surprise in store for me. My daughter and her husband had recently relocated within a mile of me, completing our family circle. It was a cherished gift in itself, having them so close. However, I couldn’t help but wonder what these two sneaky individuals, Husband and Daughter, had planned for me on this momentous occasion.

As the day started, it became clear that they had gone all out! From the enchanting visit to the Cake Bake Shop in Broad Ripple to the Southern dinner at Juniper on Main in Carmel and the captivating theater production of “The Prom,” their meticulous planning was evident. It was a day filled with love, laughter, and magical moments.

Just a few years ago, life had thrown a curveball—a stroke that challenged me to relearn how to walk and talk. It was a formidable adversary, but it also became a testament to the resilience and the boundless strength of the human spirit.

As I looked in the mirror before I went to bed that night, I saw traces of the pixie dust that had been playfully thrown into my hair as I made my birthday wish. The universe had no idea that I had been granted all I had ever wished for—love, health, and the gift of a beautiful life filled with cherished moments and cherished people.

Here’s to embracing the next chapter with confidence, hope, and a heart full of gratitude.

🥂🎁🎈 #BirthdayJoy #Gratitude #PixieDustMoments #JourneyOfLife

The Sneeze Guard Effect

In recent years, especially since the onset of COVID-19, the need for real human connection has become glaringly obvious. Forget ivory-tower debates; let’s talk about something as every day as ordering a sandwich. Do you know those sneeze guards at Subway or Chipotle? They protect the food, sure. But there’s another “sneeze guard” we’ve all put up—a barrier that makes us forget that the person making that sandwich is, well, a person.

Now, stats tell us civility is on the decline. A 2021 Weber Shandwick study revealed that just 19% of Americans rate our national decorum as “excellent” or “good.” So, we’re not just imagining things; we’ve collectively become less polite and less caring. And that change wasn’t helped by the stress and strain of a global pandemic, which made us all a bit more inward-focused.

It’s not just about customers and service providers anymore. Our friends in various service industries are on the front lines, dealing with more than their share of the weight that the world’s going through. These folks aren’t just numbers or roles; they’re humans with lives as complex as ours.

Why do we suddenly “wake up” and start treating people like people only when there’s an issue?

Is it a problem with our fast-paced society, or have we just become a bit too wrapped up in ourselves?

Either way, the change starts with us.

The saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” still holds up. And right now, kindness is that, honey.

Starting today, let’s make an effort to see and acknowledge the people who make our lives more comfortable, from our favorite barista to the hotel receptionist. Ask them how their day is going, or give them a genuine “thank you.” It might seem small, but those tiny gestures can add to a significant change in the atmosphere around us.

COVID-19 showed us how interconnected we all are—for better or worse. So, let’s drop the invisible sneeze guard that separates us emotionally from others.
It’s about time we recognize that basic decency isn’t just nice-to-have—it’s a must-have for a society that wants to thrive, not just survive.

As we move into a long weekend filled with celebrations and shopping, let’s not forget that the person on the other side of each transaction is human, too.

Whether you’re picking up groceries, checking into a hotel, or grabbing that much-needed cup of coffee, take a moment to connect.

A smile, a thank you, or even just eye contact can make all the difference in someone’s day—and in yours as well.
So, let’s use this opportunity to bring down those invisible barriers and start treating each other like the neighbors we actually are.

Happy long weekend, everyone.

www.linkedin.com/pulse/decoding-imposter-syndrome-quackenbush-coaching-llc

A Tale of Two Leaders

“Leadership is not simply about guiding others, but consciously shaping the world with our actions and decisions. The residue we leave on others as leaders, through our behavior, can profoundly impact their futures. Therefore, we should always be mindful of our interactions, ensuring they inspire and uplift rather than damage or dishearten. Remember, as a leader, your influence can foster growth or cause unintended harm, so tread your path with care and respect for the echo it creates.” – Jewel Quackenbush.

Those words will forever resonate with my experiences, casting light on two distinct leadership styles I have encountered. Each leader left behind a residue that has significantly influenced my approach to leadership. Many stand out as I reflect on my career, life, and experiences. This is the story of two of them. 

At one point in my career, I worked for a very short time for a well-known Hotel Chain in Chicago. For this story, we will refer to them as Leaders A and B. 

Leader A was inexperienced in his position. (this is not a slight, it is true) He let that inexperience guide him toward short-sighted decisions rather than leaning into it and learning from his more seasoned colleagues. His brash, narrow-minded, and objectifying leadership style left a damaging residue of self-doubt and anger, shaking my belief in my proven leadership abilities.

Contrastingly, I had Leader B, my peer, who epitomizes empathetic and servant leadership. Leader B recognized the adverse impact of Leader A on me and intervened. She helped me recalibrate my journey with compassion and understanding, leaving an inspiring and empowering residue.

Reflecting on my experiences with Leaders A and B, I am reminded of the profound impact a leader’s actions and decisions can have on those they lead. Leader A’s style demonstrated the unintended harm that can come from inexperienced and short-sighted leadership. In contrast, Leader B’s approach underscored the potential for growth and resilience that positive leadership can inspire.

These experiences have prompted me to use my leadership platform to help others. I share these stories, hoping to inspire self-reflection among my readers, helping them identify and mitigate the harmful residues they may unconsciously leave on others.

As a leader, I’m keenly aware of the influence my actions can have on others. I strive to lead with empathy, care, and respect, conscious of the residue I leave behind. 

The moral of the story? We leave a residue. More than a decade has passed since that experience, and I still feel the effects of the residue left by both leaders. Leader A, who left a disheartening residue, likely has no idea how he affected me. But because of Leader B, who instinctively knew better, I could turn those lemons into lemonade.

I aspire to inspire and uplift, fostering an environment of growth and resilience and positively influencing those I have had the privilege to lead.

In the words of Simon Sinek, “Being a leader is not about being in charge; it’s about taking care of those in your charge.” This principle guides my leadership approach, and I am committed to ensuring that my leadership residue creates a nurturing and empowering environment.

Freedom. 

It’s a word that holds immense power, transcending boundaries and igniting the human spirit. It takes on various forms and carries unique significance for each individual. Today, as we commemorate the Juneteenth anniversary, I celebrate a personal triumph over adversity that has redefined the essence of freedom in my life.

My world was shaken eight years ago today when I experienced a left hemispheric ischemic stroke. In an instant, fear consumed me as I confronted the scariest moment of my existence. For a long and arduous year, I fought to rebuild my shattered life, inching my way back to normalcy. Learning to speak, walk, and regain my vision,these simple acts we take for granted became monumental milestones on my journey to reclaiming my independence.

Unless you’ve been trapped within your body, confined by your brain’s limitations, it’s impossible to fathom the immense difficulty, pain, and despair that accompanies attempting even the most basic tasks you once took for granted. 

The freedom of movement and self-reliance? which many seldom appreciate- were mercilessly snatched away from me by that stroke.

Yet, from the depths of despair, a flicker of determination emerged, fueling my resolve to rise above my circumstances. Guided by a dedicated team of neurologists, neuro optometrists, physical and occupational therapists, psychologists, and the unwavering support of my loved ones, I embarked on the journey of self-discovery and resilience.

And then, four years ago, something seemingly insignificant transformed into a remarkable milestone,I learned how to skip. This may appear trivial to most, but if you could grasp the intricacies of the brain’s coordination with the hand and eyes, you would be awestruck, just as I was. The intricate web of signals coursing through our minds, orchestrating each step we take, is nothing short of miraculous. 

But for stroke survivors, it’s a process of rewiring and reprogramming the brain, relearning and remembering what was once second nature. Some may never regain these abilities.

But I did. And today, I conquered a new frontier—I rode a bike.

Oh, the terror that gripped me! (I would sooner step onto a stage and address a thousand people in an unfamiliar language!) My Husband urged me forward, persistently encouraging me for weeks on end. I had to summon the courage to cast aside the mental shackles that held me captive to break free from the self-imposed limitations. And so, with trembling hands and a racing heart, I embarked on a two-mile journey, clinging to the handlebars for dear life. I stumbled twice, almost succumbing to my fears.

As I pedaled on, a spectacle for those savoring their morning coffees, I saw from their recognition that this was no ordinary bike ride. They cheered me on; strangers became my allies on this terrifying journey. A timid squirrel watched me in awe, leaping out of the way as it witnessed my unstoppable determination. (I almost ran him over) 

Passersby on the trail, both ahead and behind me, showered me with words of encouragement, with their unwavering support embracing my spirit. My Husband and protector were steadfastly behind me, ensuring I did not fall or slip. (He would have to answer to our daughter if I did) I absorbed all the cheers, words, and sheer magnitude of this moment.

As I embarked on that bike ride, the world around me transformed. It was like a veil had been lifted, revealing a tapestry of vibrant colors and newfound possibilities. The once-familiar streets and landscapes took on a different hue, imbued with wonder and exhilaration.

At that moment, as I pedaled forward (white-knuckling it), I couldn’t help but marvel at the thousands of signals dancing within my brain. Neurons fired with lightning speed, coordinating my movements, maintaining balance, and processing the multitude of sensory inputs flooding my senses. It was a symphony of complexity, a testament to the incredible machinery that is the human brain.

As I navigated the trail, I became acutely aware of the people around me. Their faces held a blend of curiosity, admiration, and perhaps even a touch of fear. Strangers turned into fellow travelers on this unpredictable journey. Their cheers and encouraging words echoed in my ears, a powerful reminder of the go-go spirit within us all.

Yet, amid this newfound freedom, there were constant reminders of the challenges I had overcome. Measuring distances became an instinctual calculation, each milestone marking a personal victory. The ever-vigilant eye watched for possible hiccups—a pothole, an unexpected turn, or the sudden appearance of a wayward pedestrian.

The traffic lights, once mere symbols guiding the flow of vehicles, now held a more profound significance. They represented not only a means to ensure safety but also a test of my coordination and reaction time. With each green light, I propelled forward, embracing the newfound momentum of my journey. (I had to get off the bike a few times to recalibrate)

Bugs buzzed past tiny obstacles in the grand scheme of things, but for me, they symbolized the potential hurdles that could disrupt my progress. 

And then there were the children,innocent souls who embodied the pure joy of movement. Their laughter and carefree spirit reminded me of the freedom I had reclaimed. (They are on bikes too), a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the boundless possibilities that lie within us, even in the face of adversity.

This journey would be a nightmare for any stroke survivor, a relentless test of physical and mental fortitude. But as I pedaled onward, I carried the spirit of those who had supported and believed in me. 

Their unwavering love and encouragement propelled me forward, ensuring the nightmare remained firmly in the past.

As I reached another traffic light, a momentary pause in my exhilarating ride, I gazed around, taking in the magnificence of the world that looked so different from this bike. The colors seemed brighter, the sounds more apparent, and the air crisper. It was a testament to the transformation that had taken place within me—a metamorphosis from vulnerability to strength, from despair to hope.

With renewed determination, I continued my journey, knowing that each revolution of the pedals propelled me further away from the limitations that once held me captive. The wind whispered tales of liberation, carrying my spirit toward new horizons. And at that moment, I understood the true essence of freedom, the independence of the soul, the triumph over adversity, and the unyielding pursuit of a life without physical boundaries.

On this Juneteenth, as I celebrate my personal triumph, I invite you to join me on this ride. This ride transcends physical boundaries and embraces the resilience of the human spirit. 

Together, let us revel in the power of freedom, and may it inspire us all to break free from the shackles that confine us, daring to defy the odds and reach for the extraordinary.

I did it. 

The final exercise that I had avoided, like the plague conquered! I remain a lifelong student, perpetually learning and growing in this ever-evolving journey. And so, I implore you today—to embrace the challenges, engage in difficult conversations, and dare to try. Even if failure lurks around the corner, even if you stumble and fall, summon the courage to try, for someone, somewhere, is rooting for you.

In the words of Helen Keller, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Today, as we celebrate Juneteenth, let us revel in the triumph of the human spirit, freedom against all odds.

Happy Juneteenth.

Have you ever noticed how much chatter is running in the background of your brain? Our minds are constantly buzzing with thoughts, worries, and distractions, which can drain our mental energy and leave us feeling exhausted. Just like cell phone apps that run in the background and drain our battery, this constant mental chatter drains our mental energy and leave us feeling depleted .

Let’s explore why it’s essential to turn off the chatter running in the background of your brain and discuss tools you can use to control it.

One of the best ways to quiet the mind is through mindfulness practices. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, without judgment or distraction. It is about paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without getting caught up in them.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and body scans. These practices help us to cultivate awareness and focus our attention on the present moment. When we are mindful, we can observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them, which can help us to feel calmer and more centered.

Another useful tool for controlling mental chatter is to create a schedule. When we have a lot on our minds, it can be helpful to organize it into a plan. This can help us to prioritize our tasks and stay focused on what is essential. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”

Technology, also contributes to the constant chatter in our minds. Like the example of cell phone apps run in the background, draining our battery and using up our mental energy. It’s essential to turn off these apps and notifications to reduce distraction to increase focus.

By turning off unnecessary apps and notifications, we can give our full attention to what matters most. If we turn off the chatter running in the background our brains, we conserve mental energy and increase focus. Mindfulness practices and technology management are all useful tools to help control mental chatter. “The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments.” By focusing on the present moment and turning off distractions, we can improve our mental health and lead a more fulfilling life.

Hey there, lovely humans!

Welcome to the wild, wacky, and oh-so-enlightening world of Quackenbush Coaching!.

Today, we’ll ponder a deeply existential question while having a bit of fun:

Would You Hire Yourself?

Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of self-examination, sarcasm, and workplace shenanigans. Trust me, it’ll be more exciting than that time you spent an entire afternoon watching cat videos on YouTube (not judging).

Now, we don’t want to make any assumptions, but if you’re reading this article, you’re either a decision maker looking for ideas, considering hiring yourself, or seeking a little entertainment. And why not? You’re an all-star candidate, right? But let’s not get carried away just yet. Before you start ordering business cards with your name on them, let’s delve deep into the world of self-hiring. Or any hiring.

First thing’s first: self-awareness. Harvard Business Review says it’s the cornerstone of outstanding leadership. So, are you the Oprah Winfrey of self-awareness or that guy-who-spent-six-hours-trying-to-open-a-pull-door self-aware (we’ve all been there)? Recognizing our own strengths and challenges is crucial for success, so take a moment to really consider yours.

Next up, work ethic. Are you the early bird who catches the – you know what, let’s skip the cliché. Are you punctual, focused, and reliable? Or are you more like an Instagram-scrolling sloth who clocks in late and takes extended lunch breaks? Your work ethic says a lot about your hirability, so be honest with yourself.

And finally, personality. Do you communicate like Shakespeare reincarnated, listening to and understanding others with ease? Or are you more of the “I’m always right, and everyone else is wrong” type? Your ability to work well with others is crucial for workplace harmony.

So, would you hire yourself? It’s a tricky question, but one that encourages self-reflection and growth. Maybe you’ll realize you’re the best employee since sliced bread, or perhaps it’s time to be your own boss. Whatever you discover, remember that life’s too short to be a boring, uptight worker – so embrace your quirks and don’t forget to laugh along the way!